Your loyal film connoisseur M@ here with the inaugural loudside.com film review and I guess to start off introductions are due. I am the almighty, all-powerful M@ of the loudside.com family (actually I am just some dude that knows ERIC, but let's keep that between you and me). I rule over anything and all things entertainment at "THE SIDE” be it film, television or DVD, I am your man! So to get this proverbial inaugural party started, I humbly bring you NICE TUCK JOB JAY!!!! LOUDSIDE @ CLERKS 2!
CLERKS 2
written and directed by: Kevin Smith
starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson
Upon entering my local theater this past weekend to get a seat for the new KEVIN SMITH sequel CLERKS 2, my first thought was "who's big idea was it over at The Weinstein Co. to open this film in theatres the same weekend as the largest comic book convention in the world". I thought this because a.) there was hardly anyone in the theater and b.) of the people in the theater my wife and I were the only white people. Let's get one thing straight, I am no racist, but what I am is an avid KEVIN SMITH fan. I have been to every one of his films opening weekend besides his first "CLERKS" film (give me a break I was only 14 at the time), and this was the first time I had ever seen such few people in attendance for one of his films opening weekend, as well their were absolutely no greasy overweight comic book nerds geekily saying "snootchie bootchies" or "snoogans" and giggling in what I can only assume is Klingon. So to make a long story short CLERKS 2 may not have had a "great"
opening weekend, but for all the bad planning I am shocked it was even in the top 10. So "congrats" to you KEVIN SMITH on getting in the top 10 box office opening weekend without the support of (most) your fanboy droves!
Moving on from my diatribe against The Weinstein Co.'s scheduling prowess, and after I got over the initial shock of an overly vacant theater, I took advantage of the situation and grabbed the dead center seats in the dead center row of the theater (prime location IMO), so all in all it worked out for the better (for me at least). CLERKS 2 opens as anyone who has been following the teasers and trailers would have guessed, much as an homage to it's father film we see DANTE HICKS (BRIAN O'HOLLORAN) on his way to the infamous Quick Stop. Yet upon his arrival to work and much to Dante's surprise when he opens the shutters to his (now over a decade) place of employment the entire inside is being ravished by fire. After the fire department and police show (and RANDAL late as always) and subdue the Quick Stop fire the owner of both RST Video and the Quick Stop (the same one that suckered DANTE into working in the first film while he went to Vermont I presume) has decided to not be re-open either of his stores, leaving both DANTE and his compatriot RANDAL GRAVES (JEFF ANDERSON) unemployed.
Next thing we know both DANTE and RANDAL have found employment at their local MOOBY'S restaurant (basically the McDonald's of this fictitious KEVIN SMITH world). DANTE being his regular "do everything to please his boss" self and RANDAL in his "if you ignore the customers they won't come back" attitude. Of course we can't really blame DANTE for "brown nosing" his boss this time around as the role of the MOOBY'S manager BECKY is filled by the sexy as always ROSARIO DAWSON. Also new to the "NEW JERSEY" mix is TREVOR FEHRMAN who plays the Jesus loving LORD OF THE RINGS fanatic ELIAS another employee of the MOOBY'S establishment. Of course hi-jinks pursue our beloved convenient store clerks from more love triangles, to pregnancies, to beastialit.....uhm...I mean "trans-species erotica" and not to mention a skewering of "modern racism" that makes CRASH...uhhh....look like another movie that really has nothing to do with CLERKS 2, but I am getting off point.
CLERKS 2 also makes sure to give us our fill of cameos, but it is in such a way that it doesn't seem like KEVIN SMITH is whoring his celebrity friends out to sell the film as they are in more of a fashion that these celebs just stopped by one day while they were shooting and said "hey, can I be in this part?" or something to the liking. I guess what I am trying to say in too many words is that the few cameos feel organic this time around (yes JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKES BACK I am looking in your direction) which I thoroughly enjoyed. CLERKS 2 doesn't disappoint on the JAY (JASON MEWES) and SILENT BOB (KEVIN SMITH) front either, as they return to "peddle their dope" outside of MOOBY'S complete with world renowned dance numbers from JAY and his hetro life mate SILENT BOB and a laugh out loud nod to the film SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.
