I should probably preface this review by saying I did not, nor will I ever watch the original remake of DUKES OF HAZZARD.
Yes, I do know it was directed by BROKEN LIZARD's own JAY CHANDRASEKHAR, who is hilarious, but I still do not care.
My reasons as to why are simple:
a.) JOHNY KNOXVILLE and SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT are two actors who make me not want to see whatever film they are in (even if they are just cameos), let alone a film that they are both in together.
b.) JESSICA SIMPSON is not hot, sorry I don't care what anyone says, she looks like a man! Seriously her Adam’s apple is HUGE!
c.) I didn't like the original DUKES OF HAZZARD TV series, AT ALL!!!
So with this, you are probably asking yourself "why the hell are you even reviewing this title M@?"
And to that I say "APRIL SCOTT is f***ing HOT!!!!"
Yes my sole and only purpose for sitting through this prequel was only to watch MS. SCOTT prance around in shorts that make my tighty whitie's look like boxer shorts (oh wait, I am wearing boxer shorts). Yes, it is a rare occasion when M@ is drawn to a film by the allure of a pretty face and figure, rare yes but it does happen (i.e. EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE... that's right ALYSSA MILANO naked... BUTT NAKED!). So with all of this in mind I bring you the loudside.com review of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD: THE BEGINNING!
The film starts with a little back story on BO and LUKE DUKE and just how they come to reside in the quaint little town of HAZZARD with their UNCLE JESSE (played by WILLIE NELSON). Soon we meet a very plain DAISY DUKE who has just signed her local church groups promissory note to not have sex until she is married (seemingly explaining why DAISY is such a tease but never really puts out). Once the gang is all introduced we learn of UNCLE JESSE's moon shine business and how the local law enforcement has been bearing down on the bootleggers of HAZZARD. Of course trouble follows as BO and LUKE get into a fix with BOSS HOG and his cohort ROSCO, the boys end up joining in on their UNCLE's moon shine business in an attempt to save their farm. Of course for this they need a super fast car with a huge ignorant symbol on it, and there in turn is when THE GENEREAL LEE is born (as well we get to meet COOTER).
Luckily about about half way into the film DAISY does her outfit change and we finally get her out of her church girl dress and into some "I bet that wax job hurt" short shorts! This of course comes about when DAISY applies for a job at the local bar and is turned down for the job by the man of her dreams because of her plain look. With this we see the creation of the DAISY we all know complete with plenty of skin, and as you probably already guess her new looks gets her the job.
